Jason and Kendra have been married for 12 years and have three children. Most of their conversations are about work, chores, their kid’s activities, and mundane aspects of their stale marriage.
Kendra puts it like this: “I love Jason, but the passion just isn’t there anymore.”
When Kendra drops this bombshell, Jason responds, “I thought we were doing okay, I really did. Even though we don’t have sex much anymore, it just seems like a phase we’re going through. I don’t have any energy left by the time I hit the bed at night.”
By all accounts, Kendra and Jason were passionate during the early years of their marriage. However, over the last few years, their sex life has dwindled and they rarely spend time together without their children. Kendra seeks out Jason for sexual intimacy and Jason often pulls away.
According to experts, the most common reason couples lose their passion for each other and stop being sexually intimate is a pursuer-distancer pattern that develops over time. Dr. Sue Johnson identifies the pattern of demand-withdraw as the “Protest Polka” and says it is one of three “Demon Dialogues.” She explains that when one partner becomes critical and aggressive, the other often becomes defensive and distant.
Dr. John Gottman’s research on thousands of couples discovered partners that get stuck in this pattern in the first few years of marriage have more than an 80% chance of divorcing in the first four to five years.
Foster Emotional Intimacy
A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness. In other words, if you’re hoping to improve your physical relationship, you need to first work on your emotional connection. Focus on meeting your partner’s needs and communicating your own needs in a loving, respectful way.
In The Science of Trust, Dr. Gottman explains that couples who want to rekindle their passion and love need to turn towards each other. Practicing emotional attunement can help you stay connected even when you disagree. This means turning toward one another by showing empathy, instead of being defensive. Both partners need to talk about their feelings in terms of positive need, instead of what they do not need.
The Crystal Delights plugs aren’t just anal plugs… they’re jewelry for your ass in all respects. No, it’s not like vajazzling where crystals are superglued to you or anything else. A glass, bulb-shaped plug with a Swarovski crystal in the base is the Crystal Delights plug. It’s totally lovely, and it was my first glass toy as well, so I’m really excited to speak about it.
The plugs come with multiple colored crystals to choose from and in two dimensions–short and long, referring to the neck length. The firm that stocks and manufactures the plug effectively developed the brief version after Britni reviewed & criticized the initial plug’s length. If the service isn’t great, I don’t understand what it is!
I selected the tiny version because I’m a tiny individual. I couldn’t decide between any color, so I ended up getting the Aurora Borealis, whose colors include topaz and turquoise.
The plug is on the tiny side but the glass’s hardness makes it more substantial than may be suggested by the size. I discovered it to be comfortable enough to wear though. The brief neck fit perfectly, and it was very clever.
I can’t get over how beautiful and brilliant it is. I snapped a image the first time I put it in and immediately sent it to L. (No, I won’t post it.) He really enjoyed what it looked like.
The toy comes with a beautiful padded case of velvet and leather that closes with two elastic straps safely.
The only complaint I have about the plug is that wearing under your clothes is not appropriate, or if you are going to sit down for a long time. The base is quite dense and bulky, so under my jeans it feels a little awkward. I wasn’t able to sit comfortably either. If I sat on something soft, like a padded chair or a sofa, it was better, but difficult surfaces were out of the question. I could hear the glass clunking against the ground when I wore it under panties and a mini-skirt, then sat down on a wooden chair.
I don’t believe that should dissuade anyone from having the plug, though. This plug is intended to be hidden under clothing, not flaunted! Let it enjoy yourpartner(s) or use it during sex. Wearing this plug made me want to walk naked around the apartment (unfortunately at the time I still had roommates, so I wasn’t indulging). There are plenty of other, more affordable alternatives on the market if you want a plug for long-term wear.
There seems to have been a lot of care in this item. Each piece is hand-made, and it’s totally non-porous and body-safe since it’s made of glass. By wiping it down with 10% bleach solution or rubbing alcohol, you can sterilize it. (I hesitate to suggest boiling for 5 minutes as I don’t understand how the crystal is secured in the base, and I don’t know what impact boiling might have on it. I’d be unwilling to bring it on the top shelf of the dishwasher owing to potential crystal harm, too.) Next time you have to purchase a significant other donation, you’re not going to have to choose between a fancy sex toy or jewelry…
SexToy.com’sKinklab Wartenberg Pinwheel is a classic BDSM toy. It may look a bit like a pizza cutter (actually that’s what J called it when he first saw it), but it was initially used by Wartenberg wheels to test neurological reactions. Because of hygiene problems, it fell into disuse. His medical background and appearance are part of his attraction to me; as are the beautiful sensations he creates. Running it slightly over the skin outcomes in a tickling or slight pricking feeling; you can break the skin if you exert sufficiently intense pressure.
I attempted it first with J. I got naked, and the sharp tips softly ran over my back and arms as I squirmed and giggled. It was quite an pleasant sensory experience to be naked while he was dressed, and to have the steel points coasting all over me. It is difficult to define. It felt like tickling, but focused on a very tiny region of skin, but very intense tickling. Then he moved on to my breasts and nipples, which began turning me on certainly.
A few times I rode the wheel teasingly over his arms. He believed it was exciting; after a while it would likely get a little overwhelming, which was true for me. After tickling and poking for about 15-20 minutes, I had enough.
I tried to investigate how to wash the wheel if you break the skin of a person and then use it on someone else. Obviously, since you get blood on the tool, that can be hazardous. Google did not yield any outcomes; I received the most answers from Twitter:
-soak it in a 10% bleach solution for 1-2 minutes
-boil it-wash it down with “medical wipes”
-sterilize it in an autoclave (can be found in tattoo parlors and used for a nominal fee); if any other technique is used, wait at least 21 days before using someone else.
Get a bottle of betadine (or any brand of povidone iodine) in the drug / grocery shop. It’s a particular antibacterial sterilizer most frequently used to prepare individuals for surgery. Put in a container a little bit and add water. You’re going to want it to be a color of “tea.” Place the wheel inside, soak it for at least 10 minutes. The dry. Just notice that after continuous use, the povidone iodine will ultimately stain the container. Rinse your hands after using it, but if you’re attempting to be totally sterile, I’d recommend wearing gloves while handling the wheel during the sterilization phase or washing your hands with povidone iodine. May I also recommend that you use warm water.
I have yet to determine whether this wheel is made of surgical-grade, non-porous steel, which is the only secure material that could be shared. No data could be found on Kinklab’s website.
Also the wheel comes with a beautiful sheath of leather that snaps off.
I don’t really have much to say about this product; either it works for you or it doesn’t, and I don’t see a lot of chance, or NEED, to change any kind of basic shape and look.
I really like Pinwheels from Wartenberg. I’m happy to have one.
— Type: BDSM / Medical Fetish Toy
— Length: 7′′
— Material: Steel
— Price@ Sextoy.com: $14.8
4 Out Of Five hearts!
Other kink products that may be of interest to you:
Lelo recently came out in their Femme line with three new products (well, I don’t think so new anymore). I was fortunate enough to have the Siri clitoral stimulator examined. Compared to their older siblings, these fresh products come with certain variations; Siri in specific is marketed as having more authority than the other clitoral vibes of Lelo. I’ve never had any problems with Lelo’s vibration rates, but I’ve read reviews from many other bloggers who complained that Lelo’s one weakness was lack of energy.
First thoughts on the Siri
Siri is incredibly adorable. It looks like an easter egg and comes in three distinct colors–including a lovely, lively red I was really excited about. (Red is one of my favourite colors and I discovered there’s an unfortunate shortage of red sex toys.) However, I’ve been sent a pink version. Well, well.
I don’t believe I’m going to be able to delve beyond appearances without comparing Siri with other products from Lelo. Let’s see how Siri stands up against the ancient models of the product and the Lily, one of Lelo’s other clitoral vibrators.
New packaging & control system
First off: the packaging. Lelo is renowned for one thing when it comes to presentation is their elegance and attention to detail. The packaging of Siri is much the same as the ancient packaging: a more flimsy outer box, then a black storage box. Once I lifted the storage box’s lid, however, my heart sank a little. I was expecting the typical plastic “mold” from Lelo that holds the toy in place and houses the handbook, loader,1-year warranty, 10-year guarentee quality and satin storage pouch below. Instead, I discovered a clamshell of paper & plastic. Looks aside, the fresh packaging presents a issue because you have to rip it open to get to the toy. You have to throw out the clamshell once you do that. With the old system, if you wanted, you could use it to safely store your new toy in the storage box. Now, the toy will be left loose; if it moves, it will rattle in its box.
The other noticeable distinction is the scheme of control. Siri has four buttons: control strength from top and bottom, and control mode from left and right. Hold them all to lock and unlock the toy for a few seconds. Pretty intuitive. And the buttons are still illuminating.
There are things I like and dislike about compared to the ancient checks. The ancient button was a large circle with the aforementioned features corresponding to each place on the circle. These buttons are larger and easier to press on the plus hand. On the less side, I can’t as readily differentiate between my finger buttons. Usually I’m under the covers when I get off, so the toy is also out of sight under the covers. I could move my finger around the circle with the ancient controls and feel the portion of the circle I wanted. I find it harder to differentiate between these buttons, which means that at the first try I sometimes don’t press the correct button, which might be a bit awkward. It’s also annoying that I have to press these buttons harder to make them work, so I usually press one button twice because it doesn’t work for the first moment.
Try the nJoy Pure Wand if you’re searching for something far less high-tech.
How did it perform?
Siri is rechargeable (2 hours charging time for 4 hours of use), shows white light when charging and red light when the battery is small, and is made of matt silicone (colored portion) & plastic (white part). You can scrub it with 10 times bleach solution or rubbing alcohol to sterilize the toy’s silicone region. There is also no compatibility of silicone toys with silicone lubes.
Is it more powerful than other vibes like the Lelo Mia from Lelo? There is no doubt that my reply is yes. I’m very pleased with the Siri and I’m looking forward to more Lelo toys! (I’m looking at the next row of mint-new Insignia.) Check out the Siri & more sex toys in Your Adult Toy Store.
When I first held the Lelo Bob in my hands, I realized that we were not supposed to be… because the toy had been sent to me in order to use it as a reward in a contest that I held. I had snuck a peak into the box thoroughly, though, and I enjoyed what I saw. Like Bob’s advertising picture of Lelo, looking at it made me believe I thoroughly unwrapped a costly, fragrant cigar. The Bob was sleek and beautiful despite his decidedly unclassy title, and I knew I would eventually want to try it out myself. Unfortunately, I discovered when I did that the functionality of Bob was not as good as its appealing look.
Like all Lelo toys, Bob is beautifully provided and comes with a satin drawstring bag and one-year warranty. It’s also produced from Lelo’s soft, tough silicone.
I was able to slide it in very readily because of Bob’s tiny size, and then… I could hardly feel anything. When I tightened around it, I could feel it. It felt very thin and insignificant. I don’t even use big plugs on a regular basis; the njoy pure plug medium is my go-to plug. While a beginner couldn’t take the pure plug for a while without first using something bigger, it’s certainly not size-queen material either. Bob is certainly very comfortable, but for me, part of the point of carrying a plug is to feel it, if only a bit.
Was it all bad…
There was, on the other side, a component of Bob that I could definitely feel, stuck between my lips: the handle. I read some reviews criticizing Bob’s potentially unsafe base, and although I could definitely feel it, it didn’t seem to be enough to avoid the whole toy from slipping into my ass, particularly when I sat down. I was worried that the Bob was being pushed in some way because the handle is round rather than phlanged and it seems like it could be pushed in with a little force, particularly if you used bigger items in your ass.
Bob is mainly intended for individuals with a prostate, while being usable by individuals of any gender, and I was lucky enough to try it on L. While we were 69ing, he had it, and here the handle was a plus. I liked placing my finger through the loop and slightly pulling it in and out as I blew it. He informed me afterwards that he could very obviously feel the handle as well, and that the plug felt more noticeable in his ass (than, say, the Bootie), likely because of the length of the plug. For long periods of time he didn’t see himself wearing it, but he certainly liked to fuck me with it.
As for cleaning: Bob is produced of body-safe, non-porous silicone and can be shared after being sterilized. To sterilize the plug, it can be washed with 10 percent bleach solution, placed in the dishwasher’s top shelf without soap, or boiled for at least 5 minutes. There is also no compatibility of silicone toys with silicone lubes.
So, my judgment? Bob, while quite the looker, was just not for me, although I could see lots of individuals enjoying it, most likely anal beginners.
Ah, the Wand of Pure. G-spot toys ‘ Holy Grail. Sexbloggers have heralded magical, squirt-worthy characteristics from far and wide. Probably the many reviews that have already been written adequately describe how wonderful the Pure Wand is; nevertheless, I add my perspective to the mix, hoping at least a handful of people will be enlightened.
I actually cheered when Tickle offered to give me a Pure Wand for evaluation. I received it in the mail, took it out of the package hastily and opened the elegant njoy black box with purple satin lining of the trademark.
It was intimidating the Pure Wand. It’s not gigantic or like that, but it’s c’mon. It’s steel 1.5lbs. My first believed: if you clogged them with it, you could likely kill somebody. My second: was my pussy intended for that difficult, unyielding, heavy thing? The third: hmm, the bright steel is quite sexy.
njoy Pure Wand
So it was intimidating, but in a very sexy sort of way
but I did nothing but open the box for a while, admiring and feeling the weight. After hearing about the Pure Wand making women squirt, I have to acknowledge that I was somewhat worried about whether or not the Pure Wand would “work” on me. What if that didn’t happen?
It’s time to go!
Either way, I ended up attempting it out. Only in case I placed down a towel. I dabbed on a few drops of lube–with its smooth surface I didn’t need much–and moved to the city.
The end made for a nice warm-up with the tiny “ball.” It tickled my g-spot until my wrists started to ache. The big-ball-end has been fairly heavy, and it is tiring to thrust while holding that end for an prolonged quantity of moment.
I moved to the end of the big ball. I believed it would be hard for me to get it inside of me as I typically prefer tiny toys, but it readily slipped in. And pressed strongly and insistently on my g-spot.
I had a weird feeling at this stage: I was overwhelmed with enjoyment, but I also felt like I required to pee. I kept pushing, but I was so distracted by the feeling of need-to-pee that I knew there was no way I’d come like that. So I copped out, still kept the Pure Wand, and instead rubbed my clit off myself.
A fast Twit and Google search later disclosed that a typical precursor to squirting was the feeling of needing-to-pee. However, I would have to get over the strangeness of it first. It’s not that by accident I’m worried about peeing, but I just combine the toilet with the need to pee. Which I discover not at all sexy.
Doesn’t it just make you look horny at the Pure Wand?
For some reason, I felt the peeing-sensation with the Pure Wand for the first moment. So, the Pure Wand didn’t get me to squirt (it still doesn’t, anyway), but it doesn’t matter, because it feels so damn good. I got off with the Pure Wand almost every time in less than five minutes after the first lengthy wank session, unless I make a deliberate effort to miss out. I enjoy my gspot’s strong pressure. I enjoy in my hand the weight of it. I enjoy to pull it out of me and feel like it’s warm after being warmed up to my body temperature. I enjoy how cool and sudden inside of me it feels slipping. I enjoy the physical and psychological excitement of getting steel inside me. The Pure Wand is the only toy that made me moan aloud as I jacked away. And my Twitter feed was literally a flutter with < 3s every time I tried out the Pure Wand; just ask my Tweeps.
njoy Pure Wand
As an anal toy, it also operates very well. I wasn’t prepared for the big-ball end, but it feels good at the small-ball end.
The Pure Wand comes with some teaching curve (ahaha…), as its shape is quite different from most dildos out there. I use the same kind of mild rocking movement that I used with Lelo Ella, instead of pushing hard and fast, or attempting to push the dildo curve, which I used the first time, but which served no objective other than to tire me out even quicker.
Oh, you can share it, because the Pure Wand is steel, i.e. non-porous. Before sharing, make sure that it is sterilized by boiling, bleaching (with 10% solution) or dishwashing (top shelf, no soap). If you used it anally but want to use it vaginally the next time, sterilize it as well. Germs + vag= no. So… the Pure Wand: it didn’t squirt me, but it makes me moan. And I enjoy it fuckingly.
— Length: 8′′
— Insertable Length: 7′′
— Circumference: 5′′
— Diameter: 1 1/2′′
— Weight: 1.51lbs
— Material: Steel
— Price@ Tickle: $110
5 of 5 hearts!
If you’re looking for something to try the Lelo Siri just for the clit.
If you followed me on Twitter, you’d have read that I’ve lately replied on Vibrator.com to a sex toy reviewer ad. I was accepted and they sent me LELO Mia to review their discreet line of sex toys=)
First, let me get a few things straight –I usually don’t use sex toys. I never used a vibrator before (I don’t count the vibrator-component of an unopened vibrating Trojan cock ring that I and the Actor stole from the college newspaper office… and no, I don’t understand what it was doing there). That said, I’ve known LELO for a while, too, and I love them. Their products are lovely, easy and sleek, and the Mia is no different. No tacky plastic semi-see-through, no garish images on the packaging of half-naked babies. LELO introduces its products beautifully in beautiful donation boxes, complete with storage bag and 1 year guarantee!). LELO is almost the “sex toys apple” (well, at least one of the sex toys apples).
Time for first use
I gladly took Mia to bed with me every night the first couple of nights after I got her in the mail. Mia is a pastel-pink and dark rose “lipstick vibe.” Definitely discreet–it feels like a lipstick tube or a highlight or a big USB stick, and I have often left it lying on my desk without any of my colleagues commenting on it.
Mia has~10 intensity settings and three distinct “pulsation” configurations (lengthy pulses-> brief pulses) with respect to the vibration itself. The website of LELO points out Mia as a nice atmosphere for beginners. I don’t have exactly anything to compare with, but I didn’t expect to be able to take the greater intensity settings, but it turns out that after all =) Mia takes 2 hours to charge and gives up to 4 hours!) (of enjoyment.
The Mia’s smartest thing? You plug it into the USB port of your computer to charge it.
F found it a bit annoying that you don’t have the choice to load it at an outlet, but it seems perfect for college learners like me =) or busy working females as we’re on pcs all the time.
Oh, and while I was charging it for the first moment, the Rationalist used my laptop and wrote it off for about half an hour before it was all “It’s not a USB drive, is it?”Take it from the USB port and turn it on, which… um… kind of gave away the game. The+ buttons, of course, make it clear what the Mia is, but not if you don’t look too carefully =)
Lelo is basically my favourite vibrator business, but I’ve been wondering for a long time what the Ella would be like, the one dildo in their product line. And whether it holds up to my Tantus dildos or not, because I have no end in hearing Tantus.
Ella looks just as elegant and discreet as any of the other “pleasure objects” from Lelo. I don’t dislike the way penises look, so I don’t want my dildos to look as unpenis-like as I can. My typical dildos preference is between realistic and abstract. I certainly enjoy Ella’s discreet beauty, though. It doesn’t look like a dildo at all, and I’m sure I can leave it lying around my room without my friends noticing and commenting on it. You get the typical great Lelo therapy with Ella: Ella comes in a sleek black box with an instruction booklet, a year’s warranty, and a satin storage pocket.
Ella is produced of hard silicone via heyepiphora.tumblr.com. The toy has no giving whatsoever, except at the throat. Due to how thin the neck is, I don’t really suggest bending it too much. The silicone material is completed with the typical matte velvet from Lelo, which feels good to touch. I always discover myself fondling and caressing it before I jack off with Ella just because the stuff feels so beautiful. Ella is also non-porous, pthalate-free, and can be shared, like other silicone toys. Just be sure to sterilize it, boil it, or put it in the dishwasher (top drawer, no soap) before sharing with a 10 percent bleach solution.
The Ella in Action
It is possible to use both ends of the dildo: the G-spot end, which looks precisely like the Lelo Gigi end, and the pointy end. I haven’t liked that pointy end. Why? Because I anticipated it to feel like my vagina was getting poked, just by looking at it. And that’s just how it felt. That toy end has a lovely curve to it, and it feels quite filling and enjoyable, but it’s just awkward that point combined with the difficult silicone. Also, on either side of this end are two small LELO insignias stamped. There, Lube can readily get stuck, making it a little hard to clean. (I would suggest using n ancient toothbrush.) However, this end makes a good handle. Well, except when I attempt to use lube-y hands to grab it. The soft surface when lubed up makes it highly slippery.
I was most excited to try the G-spot end. Gigi was the toy I first found and played with my G-spot and actually had a G-spot orgasm (which I knew about, anyway). I had high hopes that with the same consequence, Ella would grace me. Like the Gigi, to reach my G-spot, I had to do some original maneuvering. I typically push dildos to a certain depth inside of me, because that’s the most pleasant thing to do. Using the Gigi or Ella, however, needs me to move just that bit more. But after that, Ella is completely zeroing in on my G-spot. I’d read that Ella had a little learning curve, and I discovered that to be true as well. Its sharp curve catches my back bone a bit if I thrust hard and deep as I generally do, so I had to thrust shallowly, or use some kind of rocking movement, so I was pummeling my G-spot slightly with the toy’s head. However, once I figured out how to use it, I jacked off gladly with Ella until I felt the familiar feeling of a G-spot orgasm washing over me; spreading deep within my cunt over my body.
What’s the verdict?
I don’t believe it’s a toy for everyone, though. For one thing, on the tiny side it’s a little bit. The shape is ideal for G-spotting, but if the toy were a little thicker, I would almost prefer it, just so I could have more to squeeze around. And if you’re a queen of size, Ella might not be enough for you.
But Ella went through my exam, right. This toy makes me want to stretch out and enjoy my wank session every minute.
If you want to increase your playfulness in the bedroom, this butterfly style strap-on vibe may be just what you are looking for. The Monarch provides you with many different options so you can experience a wide range of new things. If you have never used a strap-on, this is a great starter!
While many butterfly vibrators focus on clitoral stimulation, this one is designed with a shaft that is insertable, measuring 3 inches. While this may sound small to those new to this type of toy, it is able to hit all those sensitive spots you expect.
The strap is adjustable, which ensures that you get the best fit every time while remaining hands free the whole time. You are going to find the wireless remote is a fun way to relax and enjoy the moment. It also provides new opportunities, such as with partner play! You can allow your partner to control the vibe, or be discreet and enjoy some public fun while your partner secretly controls your pleasure while out on the town!
There are 10 vibration modes, with escalation and pulsation. The remote has a 32’ range, and takes 2 AA batteries to operate the butterfly, and a 12v for the controller.
When you are looking for something new in the bedroom, or you want to spice up your love life with your partner and try something new, then this is a great option to start with, and it’s less than $100.
Do you have nights when you find your vibrator and classic dildo just isn’t craving your appetite? When you want more, with no strings attached and go all night if you choose, the Love Botz Auto Banger is the machine for you!
When you want hard core pleasure, don’t pass up on this as it even looks aggressive! It constantly thrusts without stopping, and the best part is there are various attachments so you can change your experience as needed. It has a low and high thrust setting to give you that nice slow thrust, or a faster hardcore thrust.
The overall thrust is just under 2”, while the pink dildo is 6.25” and the realistic dildos are 4.25” and 6” insertable. With an overall measurement of just 8 inches by six inches, taking this thing with you on trips can be easily done. It would it great in a suitcase, or even an oversized bag!
When it comes to getting off, let it be under your terms and when you want it. No matter if you want it fast or slow, the Love Botz is the toy for you. It plugs into the wall, so you never have to worry about charging or buying batteries to be ready, just needs an outlet.
The price tag is a little steep at around $399, but it is cheaper compared to some alternative sex machines that can cost as much as a used car.