Despite being a published sexuality expert who works with countless women and their partners, I’m always my own best case study. I have written and been public about many parts of my own sexuality. Most of my sexuality has occurred in a long term, mostly monogamous marriage of more than 30 years.
I give lectures and have been interviewed on the lack of passionate sex in long term relationships (including my own), and what we can do about it.
Last night, I realized that I do still have a pretty sexy marriage. That seemed funny to me because not too long ago, my husband and I gave an interview to the Wall Street Journal about having less sex in a long term relationship. That is still true. But things keep shifting for us, and the couples that I am working with. Sex and passion keeps slowly getting better. So what is up?
Tip One: Stick Around a Little Bit Longer Than You Think You Should!
We all know that boiling point, when we think we can’t take it anymore. But there is a gift that comes from sticking around, not throwing your cards on the table and walking away. When you allow for some time, and the understand that relationships can shift, you can often be surprised with what you have.
Tip Two: Long Term Relationships That Remain Sexy Have A Lot of Erotic Privacy
My husband and I have our sex life together, and we have an agreement that allows each of us to have a certain amount of erotic privacy and independence in our marriage. It is has slowly been evolving since I wrote Shameless.
Read more www.ashasexualhealth.org