Review: Bend Over Boyfriend

I was looking forward to reviewing Carol Queen’s Bend Over Boyfriend DVD from both because of my interest in strap-on sex, and because I’ve been interested in seeing more of Carol Queen‘s work.

Bend Over Boyfriend is a part instructional, part erotic DVD that was released in 1998. (A follow-up DVD was released after, with more focus on the erotic.) It was a bestseller when it first came out, during a time period where (I’m under the impression that) not many resources related to sexuality were readily available. Carol and her partner Dr. Robert Morgan spend 30 minutes talking about why people find pegging sexy and how to do it right, and then spend the next 30 minutes giving us a live demo. Interspersed with Carol and Robert’s material is footage of two couples, first sitting attentively and watching their own copies of BOB, then trying out the techniques themselves.

Carol and Robert clearly know their stuff. First, they each talk about why a person would find pegging hot, and what they would potentially take away from the experience. Then they delve further into some of its mechanics (which are applicable to couples of any gender combination, but are aimed at opposite sex couples here):

– Common myths about anal sex

– Communication with your partner and why its important

– The prostate gland and how to play with it

– Cleanliness and safety

– Foreplay and prepping (for both the pegger and the… peggee?)

– Choosing lubes, butt toys (plugs, etc), dildoes and harnesses

I know most of the material already, since I’ve come across it in other writings about anal sex and BDSM, but they go into amazing detail, and I really appreciate that. Their presentation, though, leaves much to be desired. The video quality isn’t very good, and at times the camera isn’t even in focus (!!!). (The video was independently produced, which might have something to do with it.) Carol and Robert don’t really do anything except look directly into the camera and talk. I felt like I was watching a sex-ed video, or was being lectured at by two professors, not unlike those at my college classes:


Carol attempts to change things up interspersing their dialogue with scenes of the couples watching the video, interacting with each other, and prepping each other for sex. This doesn’t really help break the monotony, and actually ends up being distracting. I mean, first off, there are a few idiosyncracies from the 90s that I couldn’t not notice:


And then there’s the weird pink or green tint that randomly appears:


Not to mention this babe dressed in nothing but a doctor’s coat who pops up every now and then to feed us cheesy one-liners like “A finger a day keeps the doctor away! *WINK*”:


And, finally, it’s just plain distracting to watch people flirt, lick and get fingered, when I’m trying to listen and pay attention to whether I can use oil-based lube with a silicone dildo or not.

Besides those little snatches of erotic scenes, the action doesn’t really start until halfway through the DVD. Rapt attention is paid to safe sex in all of the scenes – no one is rimmed, fingered, or fucked without latex gloves, condoms, or cling film (did they not have dental dams back then?). Again, all the scenes are all interspersed with each other. I really would have preferred watching them one by one.

Anyway, first Carol straps on and fucks Robert while he’s bent over. It was an interesting scene for me to watch, because Carol and Robert are quite a bit older than me, and when I’m watching porn I don’t usually look for people in their age group. The scene didn’t make me feel uncomfortable or anything, it was just… interesting. Carol and Robert have wonderful chemistry and obviously get very into the scene. Carol makes sure to keep checking how Robert is doing, and Robert assents breathlessly at things he enjoys. They both reach explosive orgasms at the end. It’s very authentic, and their passion made me smile.


And then the two couples, who I creatively dub Couple #1 and Couple #2. I don’t think any of them are very experienced with acting in porn. The little dialogue they have sounds contrived, and the sex scenes are awkward at times. But there’s something charming about how they aren’t pornstars. Since this DVD is aimed at the average Joe, and its message is that anal sex isn’t just some crazy thing you see in porn – that anyone can do it – it’s kind of appropriate that the actors don’t look like they just walked off of a centerfold. That said, I am as superficial as the next person, and certain things about the actors did get in the way of my enjoyment of the scenes.

I wasn’t a big fan of Couple #1. I didn’t find either of them particularly attractive, and Guy #1 just plain annoyed me. He looks bored the entire time, whether he’s watching the video, or watching his girlfriend get naked and try on a strap-on, even when he gets fucked hard up the ass. The height of his excitement is when he says: “oh. Oh yeah.” Girl #1 is cute and giggly and a little awkward – quite endearing – but Guy #1′s lack of emotion basically ruined the scene for me. I can’t even remember much about it now, except that they switch positions a few times, and Guy #1 tells Girl #1 what he wants her to do.


Slightly less bored
Slightly less bored

On the other hand, I really liked Couple #2. Girl #2 is butchyfemmeish and curvy and tasty, and I found Guy #2 so attractive. I think it was the combination of his long hair, slim body, nice ass and air of ambiguous sexual orientation mixed with a healthy dash of expressive sexuality that did it. He’s easily the most natural out of the four. He moans and asks for more, and at one point gets on top of Girl #2, grinding himself down on her strap-on and flinging his hair back in rapture. He also plays more with Girl #2′s strap on, rubbing against it and giving her a blowjob (yum). They also seem more engaged with each other than couple #1: they look at each other, smile at each other, and seem to be enjoying themselves a great deal. Girl #2 kind of loses interest as the scene wears on, but Guy #2 more than makes up for it. Eventually, Guy #2 comes all over Girl #2′s tits.



I really would have liked to see the girls orgasm or get more obvious pleasure out of it, especially since Carol made sure to accentuate that women can get pleasure from pegging as well as the men.

Pegging is already sold on me, so I wouldn’t recommend using this DVD as a way to try and convince your lover(s) to try it out with you. Carol and Robert delve very thoroughly into all aspects of anal sex with little or no fluffing. Some would say they’re a little bit too thorough. (Did you know anal sex is actually good for hemorrhoids because it increases the blood flow in the rectal area? Or that vegetable shortenings can be used as lube, but smell really bad if you leave a stain?) If you and your partner(s) already want to try it, or if you just want to educate yourself, then go for it.

Personally, I’m happy that I watched it, but would prefer to find something more current. Maybe another one of Tristan Taormino‘s guides, for instance.

– Type: Instructional / porn
– Length: 60 minutes
– Release date: 1998
– Directed by: Carol Queen
– Featuring: Carol Queen and Robert Morgan
– Price @ $34.95

Three hearts out of five.